All I Wanna Do is Dream

Trying, as I do every year, to read everything nominated in all the categories of The White Knight Awards that I'm not already familiar with. I find a few surprises every year, both some I've forgotten about and some I managed to miss first time around.

I have some strong opinions - there are some things I just can't give Xander awards to - like a best overall author to someone who has only written one Xander piece ever. I feel a best author (not just overall, but in any author category) has to show some reliable ability in writing the character - not just one story, no matter how good that one story might be.

I also feel like the support category requires Xander to be a major character in the story, even if he's not the major character. And the humor category has to leave me smiling, even if it has serious elements. Stupid humor doesn't win a lot of points from me.

I'll gladly vote for slash if Xander and the story are both well-written. There are a couple of authors (more in het than slash, sadly) I wouldn't vote for if my hair was on fire and only their story would put it out. And I still can't stomach reading Spike/Buffy after all these years, so there's no chance of any story containing a lot of that even getting my consideration. I know I have some S/B fans among my friends, but I've never exactly kept my feelings on that a secret.

Even with all my personal biases, it still takes me a lot of time to read through or at least re-familiarize myself with all the choices. I'm always afraid I won't get through everything I need to read before the voting closes. I've always held Xander as my main reason for being in the Buffy fandom, so I take these awards very seriously.

Deepest thanks to mara_sho for putting so much time and effort into these awards. She's awesome, no question. She, too, takes the character of Xander and these awards seriously. Since Xander stories have dropped off quite a lot in recent years, her continued sponsorship of these awards helps keep both new and existing authors motivated to write more and try harder. For that, I commend her.

I really want to care today, world. Really. But I just don't.

Gah - you all probably don't care (I know you don't care), but I truly hate cleaning my son's bathroom.

First, he's 17 and shaves intermittently (not because he doesn't need to - he does - but he doesn't like to), then he sheds. You know - the Screaming Infidelities moments - "your hair, it's everywhere."

Brought to you by the need for a better job so I can afford cleaners.

Got my photos back from the Chicago trip. Lots and lots of pics from the Chicago River Architectural Boat tour we took Saturday evening (which I highly recommend if you go there - Wendella Tours - the Lake and River version is awesome), but I did manage a few from the ceremony.

The day we got there, Friday, the weather was beautiful. Cool and clear, a high in maybe the low 60's. Saturday morning when we got up to go to graduation, which started at 10, it was pouring and COLD. It MIGHT have made it to 50 degrees that morning. We had brought clothes appropriate for Georgia in June (80's to 90's), and were freezing our butts off. We borrowed an umbrella at the hotel, and had rain ponchos hubby had brought in case of emergency, so we snagged a taxi and headed for the school.

Most of the families were in pretty much the same shape we were - this was an outdoor graduation, rain or shine. We were all damp and cold. But Son, who had stayed the night at Maymerz' apartment, called us from his cell - he had found an indoor theatre where they were videocasting the ceremony. Hallelujah!

Unfortunately, taking pictures of a screen in a dark room really doesn't work that well, so I didn't get any shots of May or her honey getting their diplomas. But after the ceremony was over (3+ hours, and this was the third of four different convocations for all the different schools U of Chicago has), the rain had stopped, although things were still pretty muddy. But I was able to get photos of the recessional.

And of them - one candid, and one posed...





We went to eat something light, because she had reservations for an early dinner and wandered around Chicago for several hours before that time. After dinner we went on the boat tour. At no time, including Sunday when we left, was the weather bad - except during the outdoor graduation time. *sigh*

Still, it was a grand trip, and such fun to see her.

Tomorrow, I catch a plane. Saturday morning, I am proud to say I'll be in the audience at the University of Chicago graduation, watching my eldest receive her diploma.

It was a four year struggle, most of the difficulty having to do with finances, not her studies. She's a brilliant girl who would probably be graduating with honors if she hadn't had to take a semester off due to aforementioned finances and therefore didn't have enough credits in her major subject to qualify for honors. But she got an A minus on her BA, so we all know she's smart.

I usually don't mention her name, for her own privacy. But I can't keep quiet about this - Marjorie Leigh Bush, you are the most awesome thing in my world right now. Congratulations, baby.

We decided yesterday that this might be a good time to trade in one of our cars - both of which are over 100,00 mi and one of which (hubby's) has a check engine light that the last two mechanics who have touched it have not been able to get to go off. This means it would not pass inspection, and it was due to have to this month.

I fell in love with the Nissan Versa we rented and drove on our trip to Savannah last weekend. Hubby liked it, but practically runs screaming from the car buying process. Yet last night in the third dealership we visited, he fell in love with a Kia Rondo, and was ready to buy. I reminded him that the first dealership we visited, while he was still in the kicking and screaming denial stage of the car process, had a Nissan Versa, the car we came looking for originally, only one year older, for the very same price, with only a few more miles on it, and MUCH better fuel economy figures. I would not let him buy the Rondo until we at least drove the Versa at the first place.

Today we came home in the Versa. I knew once he drove it, he'd change his mind. And besides, I liked it best.

Now I'm trying to convince him HE's the one who should be driving it regularly. Usually the fight goes the other way, but he is driving a lot more than I am these days, and it would save fuel for him to take it. He wants me to have it.

I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to fight him on it.

Today is officially my last day at this job. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I have some vacation pay still coming, so I will be paid through the end of the month, which is helpful.

I have at least one new job option, the working at home telephone appointment setting job I think I mentioned previously. But the pay is less per hour, and the hours are fewer, so I don't think that by itself is going to really be enough for me.

I have one other potential offer, but the job as it was advertised is not the job as it was described to me in the interview, so I'm unsure about taking it on for that reason. Then today, when I called express my interest in possibly going further with it, I found out the man who interviewed me (the owner) is in China for the next month. I just had the interview on Tuesday, you'd think he might have mentioned he needed to hear from me by the end of last week, wouldn't you? So I'm still unsure about that one.

But my resume is still out there, and I was contacted by email today about another position I am going to pursue a bit further.

I got one offer on Thursday by email, but I did a little research and think it is a scam. Likely one of those "be our representative and collect payments" type things. As I said to my hubby, in this electronic age, why would any legitimate business need someone to collect payments for them that they can just receive electronically or have mailed to them? The company is in Phoenix, and the name checks out as a legitimate business in that city, but the street address and phone number taken from their (rather generic) website don't match the street address and phone number of the company as listed by the Better Business Bureau, so I'm suspicious. Remember, my daughter was recently scammed by a loan company using the name of a legitimate business to rip people off, so I'm more sensitive to this kind of ploy than others.

Anyway, as you might be able to tell, I don't have a lot to do here today. I'm just backup in case my replacement has any difficulties doing the stuff I've been training her to do. I have expressed my sympathies to her because the changes in direction the job is taking (the reason I'm leaving) are going to be in addition to all the stuff I was doing, which was already a full day's work. I hope it doesn't burn her to the ground - she's really a nice person.

Bored right now - but at least I'm getting paid. Not all bad.

Happy birthday to sidewinder.

I've known Nicole almost since I began in the online fandom, nearly ten years ago. We've met in person several times, mostly thanks to Dragon*Con, and shared some wonderful meals together. She's quite the gourmet.

She produces beautiful jewelry and great artwork - if you're even in Philadelphia, visit her at Spacial Anomalies Gallery.

Hope Doctor D is treating you right today!

Hubby and I are in the city of Savannah for a convention. Today is his birthday, so I insisted we go out for dinner somewhere nice.

Noble Fare.

A teensy little place more than a few blocks away from the Riverfront. Owned by a husband (chef) and wife (hostess) team, this restaurant served some of the most elegant fare I have had.

I had Duck, Duck, Goose, duck breast with a gooseberry glaze, and hubby had swordfish. We were both completely pleased. We sat at the bar, and the bartender was part of the joy of the meal. We talked with him throughout the meal, and adored the bottle of wine he recommended (Barrel Monkeys, Shiraz). We even had dessert (hubby) and coffee (me), which we almost never order anywhere.

We spent more than a night at our hotel is costing, but it was worth every penny. If you are ever in this city - go. You won't regret it.

Tried going into work today, because we were having people in from out of town and I wanted to help out.

Made it to just past lunch and I was exhausted. Came home and crapped out for an hour and a half - dead to the world. Still a bit fuzzy-headed.

Son and I may go out to dinner tonight, although my appetite still isn't back to full strength. Doggie bags are a possibility in my future.

I've noticed a mass defection among my Friends List to Dreamwidth (I think that's it). I don't think I'm going. I barely post here, it seems, anymore. All I need is another place to feel guilty about not posting more on. Being sick has given me something to post about lately - I'll probably drop back into relative silence soon.

I couldn't resist this meme - I have liked Dollhouse from the start, unlike a lot of folks, and had to do this one. I'm pleased with the result too. I like the character.

This morning, the pain in my hip woke me. On the side they did the surgical entry, I have a seriously painful ache, radiating down my thigh and around my hip. The actual entry site doesn't feel warm or distended, or any of the things they told me to watch for - the area just hurts.

I'm debating calling the doctor's office. I'm giving it a little time to see if it gets better when I move around more, first, though.

ETA: Called the doctors. Even though the meds they gave me clearly state not to take NSAID's (Tylenol, etc.) with the drugs, the nurse said it's okay for a couple of days to ease the discomfort. Their big worry is swelling, which I'm not seeing right now. Whew.

Got home just before lunch. Ate and went to bed. Slept nearly until dinner ime. Made dinner, ate and went to bed.

"Went to bed" has been the motto of the day.

I know you never sleep right at a hospital (for some reason, someone comes in your room every two hours for something), but I thought I slept pretty well last night in spite of that. Still, I can't seem to keep my eyes open today.

And I ache all over, with bruising on the groin at the site they went into my arteries. But I feel like I went through an auto accident or something. My whole body is sore.

At least I managed to catch up on LJ today, although I did find myself skipping around a bit.

And I'm not even taking any new medications except the blood thinner/anti-coagulant, that shouldn't make me sleepy.

I couldn't keep up with Twitter right now if my life depended on it.

Well, I survived. I've felt better, but I could feel a hell of a lot worse.

The procedure was scheduled to start at noon. They actually took me back around 1:30. I was sedated but awake, and had to stay very still. For two hours. The xray machine had a problem during the middle of the operation, so there was a delay, during which I still couldn't move.

The hardest part was after. Since they had gone in through an artery, they needed me to stay still while they made sure it closed back up properly. For four hours. During that time I could eat, sleep, whatever, just not sit up or move my left leg at all. My hubby had to feed me.

They just let me get up a little bit ago. I didn't do much or walk very far, but it wore me out.

I had one dose of pain meds after the surgery, but I always react badly to those (I itch all over) so I probably won't have any more.

Thank you all for your prayers and well-wishes. Now I have a whole day of LJ to catch up on.

I should be going home tomorrow, and then have to "take it easy" for a few days.

I'm posting this from my new Asus netbook. It's tiny - 8.9 inch screen and little Chiclet keyboard - but I love it!

I needed something to run my new job's software on (Access) that is not my iMac, so I invested some of my tax refund into this little cutie. I have to type slowly and carefully on it right now, but that might change as I get used to it.

I'm probably going to take it to the hospital Monday so I can keep up with you guys.

Been a long couple of days - I am training my replacement at work. It's hard enough to do what I do, but to describe what I do in enough detail that someone can step in and take over is harder yet. And knowing that the job is morphing into something different after I leave and not knowing how or anything else leaves me feeling like I'm not covering so much.

I have to be pretty thorough, because I am having surgery on Monday, and she's going to be on her own for at least a few days while I recover. I hope to be up to being back to work before or at least by Friday, because we have people coming in and I'd like to help her handle that.

I'll take a few more days to make sure she's got it, then I will be starting my new job. Yes, I have a new job. It's fewer hours and lower pay, but the plus is I will be working from home. Saves on wardrobe, gas and stress. It's telephone appointment setting for the company that we use now to set our appointments, so I know it's a legit group.

I just have to survive all that's happening between now and then.

He is Risen Indeed!

Firstly: If you've been tagged, you must write your answers in your own LJ and replace any questions that you dislike with a new, original question.

Secondly: you should tag up to 8 other people: bastardsnow, </lj>, secondalto, daniidebrabant, draconin If you've already been tagged, ignore this. Same if you just don't care. :)

01. Make a list of 5 things you can see:
1. Computer screen (isn't that a given?)
2. My "Strangers In Paradise" Bookmark
3. Sticky notes
4. Reading glasses
5. Coffee Cup

02. Did you accomplish any of your youthful dreams?
Yes - my two beautiful kids. (I was told I wouldn't be able to have kids.)

03. Is there anything in your fridge right now that you would never eat/drink?
I'm almost sure there's at least one Tupperware near the back that is well beyond viable.

04. Do you drink coffee?
With a vengeance

05. Do you nap a lot?
Oh, yeah.

06. What was your first celebrity crush?
Bobby Sherman or Davy Jones - don't remember which came first.

07. What's your current fandom/obsession/addiction?
Still Buffy after all these years, although I'm pretty fond of Dollhouse right now.

08. What are you listening to right now?
The voices in my head.

09. What was the last text message you received?
"Thanks Mom, I love you."

10. What websites do you always visit when you go online?
LJ, Twisting the Hellmouth, Lolcats.

11. What was the last thing you bought?
Chicken breasts on sale - boneless and skinless.

12. Are you attending writercon?
Unfortunately not.

13. Does the weather affect your mood?
Very much - usually rain makes me blue, although lately it's the pollen making me fuzzy even when it's pretty outside.

14. What is your zodiac sign?
I am Leo, hear me roar.

15. What was the first music group you loved?
The Monkees.

16. Weird dreams?
Yes, and usually affected by whatever I've been reading or dwelling on before bed. Can hardly ever remember much of them, though.

17. Do you have any siblings?
Nope - a lonely only.

18. Any kids?
Two, one all growed up and one almost.

19. What are your plans for next weekend?
Easter service and dinner - possibly with lamb. Haven't had lamb in ages.

20. Say something to the person who tagged you:
sunnyd_lite You are a person who always makes me smile. Thanks for your positive outlook.

Doesn't matter - I was raised in South Florida, and grew up eating as much Kosher food as grits. A lot of my friends in school were Jewish, and I attended my share of Bar and Bat Mitzvahs. And I absolutely have to share this. I cant get the song out of my head now...

I've been pretty quiet lately because I had a bit of a medical scare.

I used to walk - a lot. Miles, even. At least a mile every day or two, many times much more.

Lately, it has hurt to do so. I'd end up limping before I even reached the end of the street. I mentioned it to my doctor's Nurse Practitioner, and she set me up for a sonogram on my legs.

It came back "abnormal," so they sent me for an MRI, which also came back abnormal. Today I saw the cardiologist they referred me to.

Long story short - 40 plus years as a diabetic, this is no shock to him. In about a month, I go into the hospital, and they will effectively "Roto-Rooter" (yes, this was the technical term the doctor used - I cracked up) at least one of the three arteries in my right leg - the other two may be irretrievably blocked already. There are blockages on the left as well, but they aren't as serious, and the third vessel on that side is still open.

I felt a bit better after he assured me this doesn't make me a candidate for a stroke or heart attack - it was really worrying me. And as I said, with my age and medical condition, he said it wasn't any surprise. But I just kinda feel - old. This coming on top of losing my job is sort of , well, tiring, I guess.

But at least it isn't as bad as I feared. I have exercises to do here at home, and am in no real danger. It's just a little discouraging. This growing older thing sucks - but it really does beat the alternative.

Okay, first, thank you all for your virtual hugs and very real sympathy. I appreciate it.

Cruised CraigsList last night, and found a listing for a job that's right up my alley. They said "in person only" between 10 and 2 today. It was less than ten minutes from my house.

Went into work and told him I would be leaving for an interview. He was impressed - "that was fast." Showed up at the site ad there were twenty-five women already there. Filled out the application and stood in line.

While in line, found out that although advertised as administrative, the job required dispatch experience. Hello, five years of owning a flower shop, doing deliveries every day? I so have that. They sent quite a few folks home right away because they didn't have it.

Only spent about five minutes with the interviewer, but it seemed like it was a positive five minutes. Made sure I got his name and wrote an email thanking him and the two admin girls by name when I got home.

Prayers? I could use 'em. But I am feeling far more encouraged than I did yesterday.